I don't open up a lot on my blog. I'm a pretty guarded person. I don't think people need to know everything that happens, but I also understand that others can relate to me and my stories, just as I do theirs. So, thus, I give you me and my boyfriend, I don't seem to talk about in detail a lot ;) Maybe this will embark a change! ha...
Meeting Matthew has been a blessing. And I love our story. Remember when I said I kind of blew him off at the engagement party?! Yeah, I totally did. I wasn't ready for anything and someone with a child? It made me nervous. But, talking to him for 5 minutes changed my entire thought process and I felt God saying, do it. Go on a date with him, what have ya got to lose! And if I didn't take that second date with him, I would have lost a lot...
I've learned a lot about myself, what I want, and definitely about being in a relationship where I feel like I have a voice. An equal partner...It's not perfect, not sure any relationship is, but it has become that for us. He has never asked me to be anything, but me and that's one of the things I love about him. I can honestly say, I can be 100% 'me' around him. I don't have to act different because I want him to think I'm someone else. If I'm upset, frustrated, elated, stressed, down...he knows and he accepts that. While I'm not a total peach all the time. Shocking, I know!!
He never wants me to be anything different. Although, I always tell him the one thing he'd change about me, is I'm too emotional :) hehe True story, but it's me and that is something that would be very hard to change. I wear my emotions on my sleeves and sometimes, I just need to disconnect if I don't want to constantly show my feelings... It's something I work on, but not something I can change all together. Anyway, back to the posts. So, Matthew and I have been together almost two years. We've had ups and downs, we've learned a lot about each other and yet, we're still here. We're still growing and we're still working. If someone says a relationship doesn't require any work?! They are freakin crazy... It's some of the best work though. I've never felt like the fight needed to be there. Make sense? I just said ok, that's cool, we're over, no worries. Yeah, I'd be upset, but I knew it'd be ok. While, everyone would be OK and survive without their partner, doesn't mean they want to be or need to be.
Matthew and I opposites. lol He is totally, completely, absolutely, annoyingly (love you) laid back. Like, go by the seat of your pants, it'll figure itself out, no worries, last minute planning/decision. All will be right in the world. AND a lot of the times, it is. lol I know he's not reading this, so I can admit he's right sometimes on that :)) Anyway, I can be a little high strung. Yupp. I said it. It's out there for the world. I worry about everything. Stress about everything. Want everything to be perfect and work out and everyone to be happy! WOW that last one is absolutely im-freakin-possible!
He cleans up nice, right?! :)
But, I pray God knows what's he's doing and Matthew and I are together for a reason. We work, we click, we have such a great time together. We may not always agree on things, we may not even want the exact same things, but at the end of the day we want each other to be happy and neither of us has ever asked for something the other can't give. We know each other. We know how we'd react in situations, we know how to push each others buttons lol All in fun ;)
I say we are opposites, but we genuinely enjoy the same things. We teach each other things, we learn together. I know he is madly obsessed with anything UK and he understands I can't watch those games with him. lol He knows my family is die hard Green Bay and he's even cheered them on for us ;) He's a bit more country and I admittedly, can be way city. lol Thankfully, he is ok with this.
He doesn't live 10 minutes down the road, so there are plenty of weeks I barely see him, but somehow we still make it work... We've come a long way and I am so excited for the future. He can make me laugh when I want to cry and can snap me to reality if I, ahem, 'overreact' (it's rare, don't worry lol) about something.
He's let me into his daughters life and that's a huge step for a single parent. Granted, I had already met her before we started dating lol, but still. I go up and see them every Friday that I can and we make it work together. We don't have your 'normal' relationship and I am ok with that. Definitely not going to lie, it was tough in the beginning. It's a huge change from what you think is the norm. I never thought that this is where my life would go, but I love the two of them very much and I think we are both very lucky to have found each other... We've both been through a lot. We both had to rediscover being in a relationship again. We both are figuring it out and we are doing it together. Wouldn't have it any other way. ;)
So, that's where I am now. I really should have gotten a couple friends to give me stories. I could probably make a series out of this!! LOL