Friday, January 6, 2012

Blind Date Madness

Warning: This is a long post!! lol But hopefully a little humorous for you :)


OK, so I don't think I've ever told you all about my dating experiences and for some reason, a situation poped in my head that still cracks me up and creeps me out, to this day. 
First off, let me tell you that I never dated a whole lot.  There was a guy/best friend I dated on and off from middle school through high school.  I had couple boyfriends in there, but nothing serious.  I just didn't want to lead anyone on and get into something I knew wouldn't last.  Souds harsh, but it was obviously best for both parties involved! lol Plus, believe it or not, I  was UBER shy growing up.  True Story.
So, college came and I met this guy at orientation. Good times, loved him to death, we because best friends, then sorta dated. Well, turns out he's got a girl back home.  Don't you just love guys like that? Obviously hadn't grown up just yet, I need to remember guys mature WAAAYYY slower than girls. So, no biggy, I met another guy, (both in fraternities, btw - I should have known).  He was great, we had a great time, friends for a bit, dated maybe a month or so, but he was kind of that bad boy, every girls gotta test out.  You know what I mean.  He wasn't like crazy rough around the edges, but you could tell he was tough and didn't take shit from anyone and just knew what he wanted.  Well, what he wanted from me, I wasn't really willing to give.  So, he went back to an ex, I believe, still don't know that whole story, but oh well.  He respected me enough during the time we were together so no big deal. He ended up getting married after I left Evansville, and having a little girl...believe he's divorced now.

When I transfered back home to Louisville, I can into a commuter school as a Junior.  Everyone had their cliques, everyone knew the system, no one seemed to need another friend.  Plus, I commuted too, so being on campus to meet people, just didnt' happen.  I made some friends in my classes, no doubt there, but nothing long lasting.  Well, one I work with now! lol I got him the job, so I guess I got one friend out of it! ha wow...I'm pretty sad.  Oh well, like I said not much time to date or meet people. 

So, I joined eHarmoney.  OH. Yes. I. Did.  I went there. And at first, this is hilarious, I had my criteria so limited (they 'recommended' I expand my criteria, lol), that I didn't get anybody matched to me.  No. Joke. I felt about an inch tall. So, I took their advice and expanded my 'wants' a little more. What can I say, I can be picky. Girl knows what she wants, but we all know it's totally unrealistic...)  I even added a longer distance around Louisville to see if that'd work.  There were a couple guys that I went through a few steps with and never got to the talking, but there were two that I did.  One, we emailed for a little while, maybe a month or so, and then had a phone conversation.  He called me when he was out with his buddies, I think, and we talked maybe 10-15 minutes.  It went really well. We had a decent conversation and left it at talking again.  Yeah, that never happened. Never heard from him.  Awesome! lol


 Then there was the creepy one.  Seriously, I was nervous when I talked to him.  He didn't like the idea of the emailing phase on eHarmony, so we started talking on the phone.  Our first conversation, I'm not even kidding a little bit here, within two minutes, he started talking about religion. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm strong in my religion and probably stronger then, than now, but thats' another story, and I don't mind talking about it, but this guy was adamant about a few things and one was, what I'm thinking, was a deal breaker for him.  He asked me about baptism. Not a bad subject, right? Well, growing up, my religion baptizes babies.  I've never thought it was the 'right' way, never said it had to be that way, but that's what I told him.  My religion baptizes as babies.  (Matthew and I have had this conversation too lol, oh geez ;), must be the only one left that was baptized as a baby?? ) 
Anyway, this guy proceeded to yell at me and say that babies can't be baptized because they can't comprehend and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  It's a dedication, not a baptism.  Ok, I understand where he's coming from, but I'm telling him that's what I've always known.  I wasn't telling him he was wrong, by any means. Everyone has their own beliefs, I was accepting his, he needed to do the same.  I had no idea we'd jump to talking about baptizing our kids before even meeting, but hey, I'm not one to judge :) A whole lot...lol

He told me that he went to China with a bunch of people and was baptized there on the beach.  THAT is a baptism. No freakin joke.  I was floored.  He was pretty heated about it! I almost thought it was comical.  Needless to say, that conversation ended pretty quickly. BUT wait...he then felt the need to TEXT me and say, I'm sorry if I upset you, but babies cannot be baptized.  WHOA dude, really?! Give er a rest!

I decided I needed a little break from eHarmony and left after my subscription.  Shoo! I was not gonna find anyone that way...

I took a little hiatus from dating and just decided to wallow in my self pity. lol Just kidding, I'm not that shallow. I'm perfectly ok being single.  I'm almost too independent...if that's possible? I mean, I still call my parents for stuff, but I'm very capable of taking care of me, and a future family, and I'm very proud of that. I don't want to have to depend so much on others...maybe that a curse and a blessing?! lol 


OK, back to the stories.


 But, my second semester at Louisville, I had a class with a soccer player (I always seemed to fall for the athletes.  Maybe my first mistake?).  One who wanted help 'studying' for a midterm.  Nice pick up, dude.  Either way, we dated almost two years.  He turned me into someone I didn't like and hate to be reminded of. My family liked me even less.  I separated myself from a lot of people and put him before anyone.  Not cool... I'm pretty sure I was brainwashed.  Everything had to be about him, for him, with his family... He also brought me down about myself and I almost fell into anorexia... Him cheating/breaking up with me was probably the best thing to happen and at the perfect time.  I needed a reality check about myself and I needed to get healthy again.  Sadly, I still have struggles with weight, but I'm a lot more conscience about it and not stupid. (heck, I haven't run in 4 months, so I can't be that worried, right?!) :)

I vowed I wouldn't let someone change me that much.  It's one thing to change in a relationship, but it's another to become someone you're not, for someone else.  It's impossible to please everyone and I think that family and friends will always see some change, right? I mean, you're building a life with someone else, there are sacrifices and changes, but that doesn't mean your values, goals, life, changes so dramatically... 

So, here's another kicker.  This is like blind date madness.  Let me tell you! I plan events as part of my job.  It's awesome, I love it, wish I could travel a bit and actually attend them or elaborate, but it's great right now.  I'm too much of a homebody :) lol 
I talk to a lot of people at my job and you make networking connections. I was planning an event and started connected right away with one of the managers.  We planned the event, it went great and he ended up leaving that team.  But, he kept my contact info and we continued to talk.  He was no longer a vendor/client, so no harm/no foul, right? We emailed a lot and talked on the phone a few times a week.  Well, it came down to talking about meeting.  He was in another state, me here, obviously, so we figured Nashville would be halfway.  I stayed at my sisters house and he got a hotel room.  (I wasn't going to invite a stranger into my family's house, are ya nuts?!) 


So, the first night he got there, we went out to dinner downtown, to a really nice brewery, had a great time.  I dropped him off and went back to my sisters! I thought it was a great night and was excited about the rest of the weekend...well, the next day BLEW.  We had zero to talk about no connection, I totally was NOT feeling it, but this guy flew to Nashville to meet me! So, I tried to suck it up the rest of the day and finally took him back to my sister's to go to dinner with them.  I needed normal conversation! I hate confrontation and hurting people.  Letting them down. Making them sad.  But this was just not gonna work.  I ended up calling him Sunday morning, before I was going to pick him up and go site seeing or something.  I just said, look, I just can't do this, I don't wanna lead you on, yadda yadda.  I really don't remember it all, but he was genuinely ok with it.  Was very civil and nice and understood where I was coming from.  Haven't heard from him since and that is OK with me! (Note: This was before my ex and I broke up...)


I'm not sure I was really ready to date/date. I had just had my heart broken by someone I thought was going to be my future (always had a bad feelin with him though, always listen to your guts, right?!) So, people wanted to set me up, even my dad tried.  I just wasn't ready.  I wasn't feeling it, I wasn't looking for something long term, and I just hadn't recovered and found who I was and wanted to be.  


Tina and Dustin had mentioned they had a good friend who they thought would be great for me.  I completely blew him off at the engagement dinner we sorta/not really met at. lol (He still holds this over my head :))


But, I eventually gave in after meeting and hanging out with him at their rehearsal dinner, a year later! ha


BUT, this post has officially gotten way too long.  Stay tuned to hear about Matthew ;)




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