Thursday, November 3, 2016

My 30th Year

I'm a little late to this one here. I turned 30 3 months ago, but I just haven't been in the writing mode. Too much going on and hesitant to push the publish button. Why, I'm not sure, but it's been a little over a year of being unsettled and maybe I'm just still trying to figure out my place and routine. 

Between living with my parents when my condo sold quickly, moving in with my sister while figuring out where I wanted to live, moving into an apartment close to work and then temporarily back with my sister and finally moving into my new condo; to say it's been a little nuts would be an understatement. 
But, it's also been such a great year! 

Here are a few things I've learned: 

1. Embracing change is survival. At least for me. I've never done well with change, but lately, I've voluntarily changed a lot and I'm so glad that I did. It's taught me to be stronger, adjust to change better, embrace new challenges and find out a bit more of who I am and what I truly want out of this life. 

2. Sometimes it's OK to be a little selfish. I'm a single 31 year old woman. While I'd do anything for my family and friends, this past year has been decisions that make me happy. And I think it was finally time for that. I have a long road to go in this life and I might as well make sure I enjoy it! I like having my own time, not needing to 'check-in' with anyone and creating a schedule that works for me right now!
3. The older you get, the more you realize who your true friends are and who's sticking around. I've never been one who wanted or needed a large group of friends and as I work on those lasting relationships and even build new ones, everyone 'grows up' a little differently and you realize the positive energy you want to stick around and that petty drama is just not worth the heartache. 

4. Life is hard. It just is. Doesn't matter if you have a ton of money, none at all, all the best 'luck' in the world, sometimes it just sucks and how you choose to react to those situations can show your  true colors. Choose wisely. 

5. I would be lost without my family. Simple as that. I would say I'm the luckiest, but the truth is, for one reason or another God's blessed me with these people who I adore and can't get enough of them. Well, most of the time :) They are my life line and my saving grace.

6. Moving, literally, down the street from my nephews, was probably the best decision I've made in a while. I love being around them and watching them learn and grow! Of course, they are boys and have attitudes and can be cranky, but hey, so can I! They also can be the sweetest, funniest, silliest little things. I can't believe how much I could miss living away from them! And to add to that my sister. We grew up not totally getting along. We're pretty opposite, but at the heart of it we're sisters and we've learned how to accept and embrace and love our differences. We balance each other out on things and it's a blessing to have a best friend who's stuck with me for life :)

6. I own my life and no one else. I can't place blame on anyone but me for the consequences or decisions that I make. I can only be accountable for them, learn from them, and move forward. I was telling my mom the other day that I feel like I've mellowed out since moving down here. I'm not as stressed out, I'm not beating myself up or worrying what will happen at work or at home. I've learned to take things more in stride. Trust my faith and just do my best! I'm going to fall at times, but I've learned how to positively stand back up and keep pushing forward.

7. I can do this life. And I can do it alone. I never thought I'd be 'alone' at 31. I thought I'd have a husband and family to lean on and work through this life together. But, we make our own plans and God laughs, right? He's sure gotten a great laugh out of me over the last couple years!! I am a worrier. I worry about my future, about how I'll be able to support myself when I want to retire in 30 years, and how I'll be able to support children someday. It's a blessing and curse. I am constantly thinking about the future and where I'll be, how I can get there, etc. but at the same time worry the heck out of it. Sometimes I forget to live in today and planning now will help for my future. 
This past year helped me realize that I can do whatever I want if I put my mind to it. I can do this and I can certainly do it alone if that's what my plan is. The blessing here is I'm not actually alone. I've got amazing people surrounding me to enjoy life moments with. 

8. I own a ton of STUFF. Seriously. 4 moves in 12 months will definitely bring out all the crap you've been hoarding over the last 5+ years in one place. WOW...I've learned how to live without most of it for a while and now that I'm sorting through it, using it, storing it, whatever, I just have a ton of stuff. Clearly this is where my money goes. {insert eye roll}. Live and learn. 

9.  I've slowly stopped caring what others think. I'm me and I don't apologize for my crazed hair, too much junk food, can't run as fast as I used to me. This could go both ways as I'm attempting to put myself out there to find me a Mr. Yes, I want to dress to impress, should always have my game face on, but you know what? It's not realistic. I'm going to have bad days, I'm going to hate the way I look at times, I'm going to be crabby. It's me. It's who I am and I've learned to how to embrace that instead of feel ashamed for it. 

9.  I need to get out more or I might just end up the crazy dog lady because well, cats are scary. Nough said on this one...

10. Life is beautiful. It can be scary, heartbreaking, hilarious and at the same time make you hate it. But at the end of the day it's beautiful. We've been given the opportunity to wake up again the next morning. Why throw it away? I find myself smiling on my drive to work because of the sun rise or sometimes just because. Because I'm OK. I'm happy. I have the things that I need to survive and I'm working towards a future that I know I deserve. Don't take it for granted. It can end in an instant and leave you feeling empty and filled with questions. 

Here's to a brand new year!

No comments: