Sunday, February 8, 2015

Dating Again?!

This is happening right now.
But I have never been a 'dater' so I have no idea what I'm doing.
I've always been that girl to meet someone, go on a few dates and then become exclusive.
I have never been on dates with more than one guy at the same time!
How do you remember what you talked about with one and not the other?
I mean, how awkward when you ask about something you talked about on another date with someone else?!
But, I've got to get myself out there and I sure as hell am not meeting my future in a bar...
That means I've resorted to online dating.
Too many of my friends live out of town and I was semi-set up with my ex, so I'd rather not get set-up by anyone.
Not that they have bad taste, but it leaves it a bit awkward when it doesn't work out.
Thus is life.
Luckily, our mutual friends are still my friends and it's all good and fine.
But, now I am back in the dating world.
Because I think I'm ready. And it's time to find someone who I really connect with who supports me and respects me in ways a partner should.

So, I joined - apparently along with about a gazillion other people in this world!
Which in a weird way makes me feel better about the fact that I'm single again and pushing 30.
At the same time though, makes me feel incredibly overwhelmed.
Online dating is like a full time job.
No joke.
I think if you had the time, you could totally spend 8-10 hours a day weeding through matches, working on your profile, talking to people, etc.
I get alerts and messages all day long!
I haven't gotten on it in over a week because I just can't imagine having to go through all of that!
AHH, but then I think about what I paid for 3 months and I really should get my butt in gear!
Or get my money back if it works out with this one guy I met lol

I was lucky the first day to meet a couple guys. And like I just said, one, I've been on a few dates with.
He's an amazing man and I'm excited to see if it'll go further.
We've been on 3 dates all of which were hours of laughing and talking.
I mean, that cannot be a bad thing, right?

I've realized a lot from my marriage/divorce and I'm really at a point of not settling and just being honest.
I don't want to make excuses or compromise on things that are important to me.
I'm learning even more about who I am and what I want and I'm ready to continue learning and growing with someone.
I'm comfortable in my skin and with where my life is going and what I want out of it, but there is that missing piece of doing all that with someone and enjoying those moments.
I'm not desperate though, don't read that wrong.
If my life is meant to be spent alone and enjoying my family and friends, than I'm OK with that.
I'd rather that than be in another relationship like my marriage.
But it doesn't mean I'm not going to still try and find my future forever.
My dreams of a family and children are a reality I'm not sure I can live without, but I am willing to trust God and the path he's laid out for me.
I think it's time to start listening to him when he pings my gut to tell me something :)
As of late, I've done a good job listening and He has not disappointed.

I'll be sure to post updates! Please wish me luck!!

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