Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Blogging Turned Life Rant

I just realized it has been almost a whole week since my last blog.  It's tragic really...and saddening.  Life sometimes just gets in the way and I hate that! lol Doesn't God know my blog is in the top 10 priority of life? It's a release! It's my vent sessions, get away from life time...

I don't really know why I started blogging.  I had always tried keeping journals when I was younger, would promise to always write in it, but ya know what? Writing that much hurts my hand...true story.  And it takes FOREVER to get out a sentence! So this master typer decided it was time to document said life online.  Put it all out there in the open! Not that anyone reads my blog except for maybe my mom lol but that's ok, cause sometimes things I have a hard time saying can be read on my blog. 

I'm not the best with words.  I've realized that time and again.  I mean as I've grown into an adult (if you can even call me that lol) I've gotten to know who I am and how to express what I need. But at the same time, I don't always know how to put it in a way that others will understand where I am coming from and honestly? I know I can say things in the heat of a moment and then do the opposite.  It's tough because I do let my emotions get the best of me sometimes.  So blogging helps with that.

I am almost 26 years old and still trying to figure it all out.  I don't like drama, but sometimes it seems to find me no matter hard fast I run.  But at the same time, good times, good people, good emotions can overtake a few instances of drama.

I'm at a place right now, where I'm kind of confused.  I don't know exactly where my life is headed and I'm not 100% sure I what's to come, but in the moment, right now, even though I have times of struggle and heartache, I'm ok.  I'm actually happy most of the time. (all you pretenders that wake up in ridiculously good mood everyday all day? You are lying to yourselves!! lol). I consider myself a pretty happy person.

What's hard for me? I tend to let everyone know all the bad things going on, at work, in relationships, in general and it's not fair to myself, to my family/friends, and definitely not to those I may be expressing frustrations about.

I don't want to always be venting, I don't want everyone to think I'm heading down a road of bad news...A lot of happy moments outweigh the sometimes frustrating ones, so I'm going to work on it.  I had a good conversation this weekend that kind of opened my eyes.  I know I can get caught up in the moment and say things, but I need to learn to express my feelings more often.  Let everyone know that I am happy and in a good place :)

I tend to go to people when I'm down or with frustrating stuff, but then they are only seeing the negative side.  I am not good at going to people for the good things about some relationships, so it's time to change.  It's time to take a step forward and let people know that I am happy.  That sometimes life throws ya curve balls and you just gotta keep your eye on the ball.  That sometimes things don't always go my/our way and you learn to move past it or move away from it. 

I guess I make things more complicated sometimes...surprise, surpise! Everyone knows I am emotional :) Hey, I'm a girl! And a girl that knows what she wants and deserves ;) So, take it for what it's worth!

I'm trying to remember that God has blessed me in more ways than I can count or deserve, so I better cherish what I've got while I've got it :)

Life IS good even with the bumps and troubles along the way.  It always works out and God doesn't ever give me something I can't handle; knowing he's always on my side!

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