Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Influences

I sometimes think back on all the people who have made an influence in my life. Those that I've looked up to, those that have changed me, for better or worse. Those individuals that have shaped me, one's I've looked up to, and those that have truly been a blessing to me.
I've always wanted to make an influence in someones life. I know my friends are different people because of our friendship and vice versa. I know that I wouldn't be exactly who I am today without them. Without their support and laughter, tears and heartache. I love that. I don't know what my life would be without them and I love that they've helped make me who I am. Helped open my eyes to different situations and life 'issues'. They've given me advice and they've helped me understand...
Sometimes I wonder why people can be stubborn when it comes to influences. They don't see what's right before them. They don't see the other side of a situation, and they don't get why you are saying what you are saying. They don't want the advice they don't want the opinions. Stubborn...that's exactly what it is...
I can be this way sometimes, I know that for a fact, but I do try and see all sides of different situations. I try and put myself in those scenarios and see how I might react, how i might feel, or how my life would be different. Everyone is different though...that's kind of the hard part of it.
You can only try....you can only be who you are and hope that you make someone else's life better. That you've made an impact. Helped them understand life a little bit differently. Change their outlook or just open their eyes to the potential and possibility of life...
It's tough when you don't see a change. It's hard to be unheard or misunderstood. It's a tough situation when you want to make someone's life better, but they aren't receptive or understanding. But you tried, right? You gave it all you hard. You put love and support, understanding and respect, patience and kindness...
But you've also shown frustrations and misunderstanding, disrespect and less support. I think that sometimes where I struggle. I have very high standards for myself and my life. I know that I want to be who I am and grow in myself and make a life for me. I realized when I was old enough to take care of myself and my parents let me 'fly'. They let me make mistakes, they let me make my own decisions and they knew that I was going to have ups and downs, but they are there to support each and every situation.
I'm not sure who's lives I've touched or how many more i might, if any....but I'm trying to understand my purpose in life for God...why certain people are in my life and what I can do to make their lives better. How I can set an example and show that life is more than what it is...
I hope that I can set an example for my kids someday and my family. I hope that I can be a big influence in their lives, teaching them independence and respect, love and support, and taking responsibility for their lives, all while having an amazing time, feeling loved and learning their own influences in this world....

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